5 Crazy Excuses For Not Going to Work

Written by on December 9, 2012 in Career - No comments | Print this page

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Image by: William Brawley

Every once in a while we all have a legitimate excuse for not making it in to work, and there will be days when things don’t go according to plan. You overslept, didn’t get the kids to school on time, or some unexpected emergency cropped up.

Any employer worth their salt will be understanding and sympathetic and accept that the odd late arrival or non-attendance as an inevitable part of working life. But sometimes employees can stretch their employer’s patience a bit too far. Headaches, doctor’s appointment or sickness just isn’t good enough for some people.

Not only do they stretch the patience of employers but also the limits of fantasy.  The old school day “The dog ate my homework” or “My mum put it in the wash” excuses manifest themselves in the grown-up world of work – but are exaggerated to an often incredulous and hysterical degree.

So for your delectation and amusement, here’s a selection of the finest, most creative excuses for not clocking in. If you want to keep your job though, it’s probably best not to reiterate any of the following yourself.

  • After a hard day’s graft some of us are partial to partaking of a beer to help us unwind. Most of us, however, know when to stop and that we have to go to work the next day.  Nevertheless that didn’t stop one chap from having the prescience of mind to phone his boss at 5pm the day before to dutifully – arguably even considerately – inform him he wouldn’t be in the next day due to sickness and diarrhoea.  Well, it was either than or turn up and admit he was still drunk from the night before.

  • If we sometimes didn’t keep a level, rational head about the lunacy of the world we might be tempted to go a little mad from time to time. One woman, however, seemingly did go a little bit insane when she called her workplace to inform them she wouldn’t be able to make it in because she had bats in her hair. Whether or not she was calling in a straightjacket from the padded cell of the local lunatic asylum isn’t known.
  • Pets can be sneaky, unpredictable creatures, but did you ever think they’d be able to commit full-blown sabotage to stop you going to work? Well, that’s the supposition of one employee who insisted his cat has unplugged his alarm clock, making him oversleep and thereby miss work. The outcome to this outlandish excuse to play hooky could have been cat-astrophic. (Sorry.)
  • Everyone wants to look smart and presentable for work, but what do you do if your early morning preparations result in an unexpected dilemma? That’s precisely what happened to one woman called in to say that her curlers had burned her hair so she had to go to the hairdressers.
  • Some people are just so enthusiastic about their jobs that they can’t get out of bed fast enough, but be warned – this could lead to serious injury or maiming. One chap seemed so keen to get to work he leapt out of bed, tripped over and broke his nose, thus rendering him invalided and unable to work for the rest of the day.

So running out of coffee or forgetting to order new Xerox toner cartridges aren’t the only potential tragedies that can befall your workplace –maintaining an effective and healthy workforce is more difficult than you might think.

Have you ever phoned in work with a far-fetched and creative excuse for not going in?

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This is a guest post.  Elise Leveque is a bubbly and ambitious freelance translator who in her spare time likes sipping lattes and searching for the latest piece of controversial art. She’s always prided herself on never taking a day off sick but realises not everyone is a work-conscious as she is. Here she blogs for Continua.

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