A Pensioner’s Guide To Dating

Written by on June 8, 2013 in Relationships - No comments | Print this page

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dating collageDating is often portrayed as a young person’s game where scantily clad youths lock eyes across a steamy club dance floor.

As you gracefully approach the autumn of your life, the last thing you want to be doing is going out on the prowl.

However, many of us yearn for companionship, support, love and intimacy, it’s just figuring out how to meet the right people.

There are many ways to meet new people, one of the easiest being through mutual friends. Asking a friend to hook you up with someone suitable could prove awkward and embarrassing, but there is no need to suffer the clumsy mismatch of a blind date.

Simply plan a day out or a meal where your current friends bring along someone different, keep the focus off dating and see it more as a way of expanding your circle of friends. If anyone catches your eye, then you can take things from there.

If you have specific interests then another great way to meet like-minded people is by taking an evening class or joining a group. This could be Pilates, oil painting, languages or rambling. You could even try something completely new and different. This is the ideal way to meet people with similar interests.

Returning to Basics

Sometimes you don’t even need to meet a new person. Have you considered approaching old flames or re-evaluating friendships? Maybe you already know someone who you’d like to take things further with.

Why not invite someone you already know over for dinner and woo them the old-fashioned way?

We’re all familiar with the saying that a stranger is just a friend who you haven’t met yet. If you happen to see a potential suitor when you’re about and about, then flash them a smile and start up a conversation.

If they aren’t interested you can politely move on, but if the conversation naturally develops you could suggest having a coffee together and see how things progress.

Lets Get Tech Sexy

Finally, we have the Internet. Internet dating is a double-edged sword. It’s very convenient and offers a large pool of potential suitors, but it can also prove to be expensive, disheartening and overwhelming.

Take some time to look through various sites – there are plenty out there that are specifically made for pensioners. The best thing to do is pick one site that you are drawn to, but don’t pay a subscription fee.

There are enough free dating sites, save your pennies for the actual dates! When it comes to creating your profile, it can be difficult to think of your own attributes. It can be helpful to ask a friend or family member to suggest things for you, so that your user profile is an honest portrayal of who you are.

Be as genuine as you can with internet dating – don’t feel that you have to exaggerate or be someone you’re not. Look for someone with similar interests and don’t be scared to make the first move. There is a lot of freedom in internet dating.

These days it is perfectly acceptable for a woman to contact a man first. With internet dating it is important to stay open-minded. It is hard to gauge chemistry until you meet up, and you won’t want to meet up until you have exchanged several emails and perhaps spoken on the phone a few times.

This can be a lengthy process but many people have found love online so it is certainly worth pursuing.

Dressed To Impress

Once you have met a potential date, the next step is making the arrangements and taking things further. If you haven’t dated for some time, then it can feel overwhelming and daunting getting back into it.

The important thing is to be yourself, and not to pile on the pressure. Wear something that makes you feel comfortable, but also portrays your personality.

If you are suggesting the first date, think of somewhere that reflects your interests rather than trying to impress the other person. If the idea of a formal dinner daunts you, perhaps consider a walk or a day out first, so that if conversation dries up then there are other things to engage you both.

Trust You Instincts   

When it comes to rules, such as how soon after the date you should phone, making physical first moves and how soon should you see each other again, just go with what feels right. There are so many differing opinions on these matters and dating has evolved a great deal over the years.

Personally, I feel that playing games is for the younger generation. After spending a lovely day with someone, calling them to say thank you and wishing them a pleasant evening is polite and friendly rather than pushy.

Enjoy The Experience

The most important thing to remember is to enjoy the dating process. Keep half an eye open for the right person, but don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Enjoy getting to know new people, even if it doesn’t progress further. Exploring new territory is exciting and rejuvenating, so have some fun!

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Lucy Richards is a UK-based blogger who writes on topics including pension annuities, retirement finance and relationships. 

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