Domestic Violence Awareness Month: The Facts About Both Sides

Written by on October 23, 2013 in Relationships - No comments | Print this page


domestic_violence_awareness_month_the_facts_about_both_sidesOnce an embarrassing social problem that was routinely swept under the rug rather than dealt with in the courts, domestic violence now is recognized as an all-too frequent dilemma for which society has yet to find the perfect resolution.

While education and intervention are beginning to be introduced to teens, and even pre-teens in school today, many people still refuse to believe that this situation could ever happen to them.

However, statistics show that domestic violence in America is holding steady, with some CDC reports estimating that as many as 6 million cases of domestic violence are reported each year. Of those 6 million cases, close to 900,000 are against women and children, with 85% of the instances of violence being inflicted by a husband, boyfriend, or romantic partner.

These statistics show that domestic violence continues to plague society and to threaten the safety of American families. People are encouraged to learn how to identify the signs of abuse and know what to do when if or when it happens to them.

Moving Too Fast

A potential abuser comes off as very charming and protective at first. He will shower the victim with attention and gifts, tell her how beautiful she is, and want to spend every waking moment with her.

Within a few weeks of their romance starting, the abuser will want to speed things up, possibly becoming sexually intimate and even proposing to the victim. The victim may be flattered and overwhelmed by all of the affection and attention shown to her.

Isolation Begins

Along with speeding up the relationship, the abuser will also find ways to cut the victim off from her trusted friends and family members. He will tell her he wants to spend all of his time with her and does not want her to spend time with others. He will pout and make her feel guilty for wanting to go out or visit family.

In time, he may threaten her that he will leave if she has anything to do with anyone else, even her family members. He will give her the ultimatum to choose him or her friends and family.

He will enforce this threat by checking her phone, demanding access to her email, and calling her repeatedly at work or school. Eventually he will become the only person in her life, and she will be isolated from the world.

Abuse will Escalate

Once he is the center of her world, the abuser will escalate his threats from verbal shouts and slanders to physical violence. In addition to calling her every name in the book, he will shove, hit, and throw things at her. This violence is designed to make her afraid of him and submit to his will entirely. He may even threaten to kill her if she tries to leave.

If women can see themselves in these images, they may take the steps now to get out of the relationship. Even if they have no job and no money, they can always find help if they are ready to escape the domestic violence in their homes.

Help for the Abused

Reaching out to qualified professionals can help a victim break away. If she can call 911 or call a hotline number in her area when the abuser is away or asleep, she can break away and get help. She can also ask for help from neighbors, a store clerk, or anyone who is removed from the situation.

After she escapes, she can keep the abuser at bay by hiring an attorney, getting a PFA order, and filing legal action like a divorce or custody case against him.

There are abused and battered women shelters and programs, including grants, to help an abused person start over. They can obtain the support they need to start over, while securing their safety at such a shelter.

Relocation is another option for a woman desiring to leave and start fresh. Usually a shelter will help support this by “transferring” them to another shelter elsewhere to begin over.

domestic violenceHelp for the Abuser

First and foremost, if an abuser has been charged with a criminal crime of domestic violence it is vital for them to retain an experienced criminal attorney, such as Katz & Phillips, P.A., an experienced Florida domestic violence criminal defense attorney firm.

This kind of attorney can represent an abuser facing charges that can include physical abuse and assault, harassment, verbal abuse, and stalking.

Typically, an abuser themselves has had a terrible past which might include one or more of the following:

  • Their father was abusive with their mother or sister.
  • As a child they experienced physical and/or psychological abuse.
  • They have one or both parents who were abused, which may include drug and alcohol use.

With this kind of abusive upbringing, and surroundings of violence, an abuser’s perception might be that women feel this is acceptable behavior. A common characteristic of an abuser is a quick loss of temper, which includes throwing things and punching objects, such as holes in a wall.

They will have violent mood swings; one minute they will be violent, abusive and slander verbal abuse, and the next be remorseful and beg for forgiveness from their victim.

It is possible for an abuser to change if they can acknowledge they have a problem and that their behavior is inappropriate. They will have to take responsibility, and control their actions and desire to change their behavior. There are programs that an abuser can enroll in that can help them obtain treatment and therapy.

Domestic violence is a plague that shows no sign of stopping unless a person seeks help. Victims can get help by recognizing the signs of abuse and knowing how to obtain the help needed. Unfortunately, as is proven in statistics, a victim can be caught within a trap that can end in severe injuries, or even death.

Researcher Lisa Coleman shares the behavior pattern of abusers and victims within a relationship that occurs and leads to domestic violence cases. It is vital for both the abused and the abuser to seek help. She recently researched online how Katz & Phillips, P.A., an Orlando domestic violence defense attorney firm, can represent a client facing criminal charges of domestic violence within the state of Florida.

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