This month has Valentine’s Day, one of the toughest days of the year to handle if you don’t have a significant other. It’s even more difficult to deal with if you are going through a breakup or divorce, especially if it is a breakup you do not want. While the rest of the world seems to be happy loving couples, you may be feeling a variety of emotions – many of them negative.
So what can you do when you have a broken heart? Here are some tips:
Allow yourself some time to vent, and then limit it
Your family members and friends generally will understand you needing to vent about what went wrong, especially when it first happens. But it is not healthy after a certain amount of time to keep on complaining.
How long you should be able to vent depends upon your individual situation – if your relationship ends after two months, you might need a week or two to get over the breakup. If you have been married for twenty years, you may need a few months to vent and focus on the end of the relationship.
But at a certain point, complaining and obsessing is counterproductive. You might need to set a time limit each day – perhaps 20 minutes – where you allow yourself to be sad, to whine to yourself, and to think about what went wrong. The rest of the time, you get on with your life. Doing this can help you move on.
Exercise and focus on new interests and old friends
Hitting the gym is a great way to work out all the negative energy you have been feeling. Doing so can not only get you in shape, it can get endorphins going which could make you feel more positive.
You should also take some time to take up some hobbies and interests that could take your mind off things, or make some sense of it all. Some great artistic merits were created after a breakup. Look at Adele’s 10-million=selling album “21,” recorded after a bad breakup.
And don’t forget to spend time with friends both old and new. Just don’t spend all your time talking about your lost love. Listen to your friends, hear what they are up to, and plan and do fun activities with them.
Talk with a personal coaching expert
You don’t have to go through a breakup alone. Talk with a personal coaching expert in your area about coping mechanisms to help you get through the end of your relationship. Click here to learn more about the Institute for Coaching, a group of career, life and personal coaching experts.
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