How Do You Know If She’s The One?

Written by on June 10, 2013 in Relationships - No comments | Print this page

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black coupleProposing marriage to the love of your life creates a whole range of emotions.

You’ll be excited, nervous, perhaps even scared. What happens if she says no?

Can your relationship really continue, or will that be the end?

Can you live with the awkwardness of knowing that someone wants to be with you, but doesn’t want to commit to you long term?

These are difficult questions for men to answer and reconcile with.

This is especially true if they model themselves as the alpha male stereotype that doesn’t care about emotions or what people think. Of course, inside it feels somewhat different.

Before proposing, you want to be sure that she’s the one. How will you know?

She Doesn’t Control Your Life

Okay, so your better half can have some say on certain things in your life. If she doesn’t like you drinking, smoking, or gambling too much, then that is understandable. What you want to be careful of is if she is trying to change your wardrobe or stop you from having a social life.

If you want someone to tell you what to do and choose what you wear, go home and live with your Mom. On the other hand, you could invent a time machine.

She Embraces Your Manliness

Even if you look after your appearance and consider yourself to be ‘metrosexual,’ the reality is that a man likes to be a man.

When we talk about her embracing your manliness, we’re not talking about a lack of manners, wearing the same socks, and sporting a general ‘man stink.’

We’re thinking about your jewelry and the clothes you wear. Does she love the fact you wear a tungsten band and wear fitted t-shirts that show off your toned arms and chest?

Is she happy for you to ‘be the man’ around the house? Again, we’re talking modern men, here, so you help, share jobs, and don’t just sit down to watch the football game.

She Gets on With Your Friends and Family

Seriously, any woman who gets on with your friends and family, no questions asked, is definitely worth keeping. Why worry about awkward situations at gatherings because people don’t get on, or because your girlfriend is clearly wishing she was somewhere else?

Remember that this isn’t a simple cut and dried case, either. You need to show some empathy and understanding. This has to work both ways. Yes, it is great if everyone gets along, but if they don’t, think about the reasons.

Clearly, if your woman has cheated on you in the past, that might be a source of tension, but if your friends have a completely irrational reason for not liking your girl, you’ll probably need to make a decision.

At this stage, it is worth forgetting the outdated “mates before love” model that most of us held through our teen and early adult years.

Pop the Question

While these three points aren’t a definitive guide, they should certainly help you to decide if your girl is the one. All that’s left is for you to bend that knee, and pray for the answer you want.

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Adam is a writer for a men’s jewelry website, but is also interested in the psychology of relationships, particularly from a male standpoint. In his spare time, Adam loves skiing in Colorado and spending time undertaking other outdoor pursuits.

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