How Men Can Deal With Abusive Wives

Written by on October 11, 2012 in Relationships - No comments | Print this page


Women are not the only ones who can be abused by their spouses. In fact, there are also men who chose to stay in their abusive marriage and not speak about it because they are embarrassed that they have allowed their wives to dominate and hurt them. Others do not even realize that they are already being abused and make excuses for the behavior of their wives. If you are uncertain about being a victim of abuse, but aware that you are suffering in your marriage, while your wife seems to be lax about it, then these signs can help you determine your situation.

Physical Abuse

Compared to emotional abuse, the signs of physical abuse are much easier to pinpoint. Though your wife may be somewhat incapable of inflicting severe physical injuries on you, she can still physically abuse you by kicking, hitting, biting, scratching and throwing objects at you with the intention of inflicting pain. It may not seem obvious at first and may only appear to be her way of lashing out in anger during an argument, but repetitive incidents even without an argument indicate abuse.

Emotional Abuse

This form of abuse is quite complicated to identify, but it is also very common in marriages with abusive wives. Here are a few signs that your wife may be abusing you emotionally:

  • Emotionally abusive women are controlling and they will want to monitor your movements all throughout the day. You may not be allowed to spend time with work mates, friends and even family members, when she is not included. Other people may tend to notice this and joke that your wife is the man in the family.
  • When your wife constantly and harshly criticizes your appearance, weight, work effort and any other acts you do, then she is abusing you. If she continues to put you down intentionally that your self esteem is seriously affected, then you are being abused.
  • If your wife already prevents you from spending time with your friends and anyone else apart from her, yet continues to berate you for not having enough time for her, she is abusing you. An abusive wife will want to deprive you of time with others and demand that you exert full effort to spend time with her.
  • If you find your feelings constantly hurt by your wife’s lies so she can get what she wants, then you are being manipulated. She will make sure that she gets her way no matter what. There will also be times when she will be somewhat aggressive and start fights for no reason. She may berate you even threaten you. This often leads to physical abuse.

You Are The Head Of The Family

Although times have changed and equality between men and women is being recognized, it does not give either spouse the right to be abusive. As a husband, you must remember that you are the head of the family and must try to make the marriage work. You can seek counseling for yourself and your wife, or participate in a support group to avoid depression. Try speaking to your wife about her abusiveness and opt for boundaries if she wants the marriage to work. If all fails and she continues to abuse you, seek legal help.


This is a guest post.  Valerie Clearwater is a freelance writer specializing in criminal law. She regularly contributes articles to legal websites where well experienced lawyers in MA restraining order can be consulted.


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