How To Attract a Man And Keep Him

Written by on May 31, 2012 in Relationships - No comments | Print this page


How do you attract a man and keep him?  This question has been asked over and over again to death and there are countless articles on it.  What makes me the guru on this topic?  Aside from experience, I also hammered my male buddies with relentless questions.  Albeit they are a small sample size, it is a good starting point.

1)    Takes care of herself.  Being presentable and taking care of her body is one of the most common responses that I received.  It reflects how you feel about yourself inside.  Dressing well, exercising, good grooming, and have the right body proportions are all part of the equation.  The ideal waist to hip ratio is 0.7 to 1, which has been deemed as a strong sign of fecundity and health.

2)    A smile.  Nothing can be more inviting to a stranger than a smile.  We all respond to body language, whether we consciously realize it or not, and smiles are contagious.  So flash those pearly whites.

3)    Makeup and hair.  Nothing screams high maintenance more than a thick layer of makeup.  It seems like light makeup is acceptable to most men, although as my friend puts it, “having that make-up free natural swag is hot.”  Men like long hair and seem to prefer natural hair over weaves, “even if it’s an afro.”  Strut what mother nature gave you, girl.

4)    “Loves themselves and others.”  Compassionate is the key word.  Stop with the self-deprecating statements.  It either starts making them believe that maybe you aren’t as good as you say you are or they might think you are just fishing for compliments (No, you’re not fat).  Love thyself.  How do you treat others?  Backstabbing females are never attractive.

5)    Having motherly traits.  What??? Can he see you being the mother of his children?  Yes, someone actually said that.  You may think that some men might have the Oedipal Complex, but a few have said they would like their lady to be as strong and caring as their mother.  Cooking is a huge plus.  You know that saying, “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”  I say the same thing “the way to my heart is through my stomach,” but we are getting out of focus here.  Nothing so essential like food brings people together like a homemade meal ::nom::nom::

6)    Looks.  Helen of Troy was “The face that launched a thousand ships.”  We all respond positively to a comely face and men say that’s what they are looking at most of the time.  Having a healthy body trumps having an ample bosom and shapely, big bottom.  Quality over quantity is paramount.

7)    Educated, smart, have common sense.  You would think being educated is synonymous with being intelligent, but we all know that isn’t true all the time.  Most men don’t care if you are smarter than them, but one did mention he wouldn’t want that and said it’s an ego thing.  At least he admits it.

8)    Not have kids.  One guy said that if you are both in your late 30’s+, then it would be acceptable since by then, you might have been through a marriage already.  Most men don’t want to deal with all that drama associated with the baby’s father, unless they have one of their own.

Ladies, this is not an exhaustive list, but it gives you a general idea.



About the Author

M. Yu

M. Yu is a single, working professional who lives in New York City. She has eclectic interests, ranging from cancer research (her day job) to traveling to writing for the Relationship Category on QLR. She has an active dating life and views every life experience as a learning lesson. View all posts about healthy relationships.