How To Ensure A Relaxed First Date

Written by on October 25, 2012 in Relationships - No comments | Print this page

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It’s an unavoidable fact that first dates are inherently stressful. We know that we only get one chance to make a first impression, so it’s perfectly natural to worry. There seems to be so much riding on this one event. If you’re looking for a relationship, the rest of your life could hinge on how this one date goes. That’s quite something to deal with.

Somehow we have to reduce the date’s importance in our mind. If we don’t achieve this, we will be crippled with anxiety, which would of course be counterproductive. Now this is easier said than done, but there are a few different things that you can try.

First of all, you can actually make the first date rather less of a big deal by diminishing the ‘first impression’ element. If you have got in touch with this person via an internet dating site, you are already well on the way to achieving this.

The whole online dating experience is all about getting to know people to ensure better chances of success when dating. The fact is that before you even meet, you will probably know a certain amount about each other. First of all, you will have seen each other’s profiles, with pictures, and after that, you can take advantage of chat features to get to know the person. This can reduce a lot of the awkwardness of a first encounter, ensuring you have something to talk about straight away. You’ve already been in touch, so you can just pick up where you left off. Knowing this is reassuring in itself, which will help relax you.

Another thing you can do to keep both of you calm and relaxed is to not make too much of a big deal of it. There’s no need to go out for a romantic candlelit dinner. That would actually be a bit misguided when you don’t really know whether you like each other yet. Instead, meet up somewhere low-key during the day – perhaps for a coffee. You don’t even need to meet for too long. If things go okay, you can always meet up again, whereas if it suddenly seems like you’ve made a mistake, at least you’re not committed to an entire evening.

Going out during the day keeps things relaxed and you should also try and go somewhere fairly neutral, where neither of you will feel more at home than the other. This keeps things balanced and even if you end up somewhere neither of you like, at least you now have something in common.

This is a guest post.  Mary Keening is an advocate of internet dating and is writing on behalf of www.relationship.com

Image courtesy of photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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