Divorce should not be taken lightly. Most of us thrive to find love and be loved in return. Divorce is the antithesis of this human search as it dissolves marriage.
But, we are known for survival and divorce is but a phase that we can overcome. People would give you a lot of advice on how to move on from a divorce. Here are the most common (but really useful) advice for surviving a divorce.
Go At Your Own Pace
People will push you to get over your divorce immediately. They may insult your partner, push your limits and be passive once you start talking again. Ignore them. You are the one going through the divorce, not them.
Mourn as much as you want or feel your anger. Release it – through sports or even just breaking things. Just make sure you don’t break the pretty china. Just move on at your own pace.
Discover Something New About Yourself
There are chances that you have invested much on your marriage that you stopped taking care of yourself. Remember the wonderful being that you were and build on that. Take that art class you’ve always wanted.
Take crazy personality tests online. Look inside rather than outside. Look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself questions. Don’t worry about looking crazy. Everybody’s a little bit of crazy.
Think Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love. Pick a place and go. You can give the perfect excuse to the people around you. You just got a divorce! You need a change of scenery. Do you have kids? Bring them along! Travel is good for any age.
Don’t let your children suffer from the divorce. You can meet new friends who will know you post-divorce and wont be filled with too much questions on your previous life. You can create new memories. And best of all, you get to see a new world.
Learn Something New
If traveling is not your thing, then just take a class. Work on your cooking. Get crafty. Know more about website design. Learning makes you feel accomplished.
You have less self-esteem after a divorce so you will need to be in a crowd that is in the learning phase. Or let your children take classes and watch them feel a sense of fulfillment.
Rekindle Old Relationships – Family And Friends
Sometimes people tend to focus on their marriage and family. All their time are invested in their children and husband that they lose contact with their friends and even family.
When was the last time you talked to your brother? Have you seen your college best friends? Remember the time you had fun together? You think that they may not exactly understand how you feel, but they can remind you how you were before the marriage and divorce.
Or, you may be surprised that one of your old friends has undergone the same situation. Grab a coffee and catch up. You can also work on your relationship with your kids.
The divorce may have dragged them into a slump. Kids would feel it’s their fault so make them feel it is not about them.
Have A Makeover
They say, the best revenge is looking good. Skip the revenge part and just work on looking good. Get a new haircut. Buy a new wardrobe. Work on your fitness goals.
Looking good physically helps you feel good inside. This is a new chapter of your life so welcome it with a good smile and crisp, new clothes. Life will be much kinder to you.
Realign Your Goals And Dreams
Stop and make a five-point list of what is really important to you. These are the things that will really make you happy. You can direct all your focus here.
See that there are many things that make up your life and they should not suffer like your marriage. This also helps you plan your next days ahead. You can start with a very long list and narrow it down until you’ve got your five most important things.
Surviving a divorce begins with taking one day at a time. Don’t rush, look inside, explore and move on. Days will be better and soon, divorce will be a thing of the past.
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Fran Ralston helps people from all walks of life find love online. She writes single parent dating site reviews, price comparisons and relationship blogs.