Are you on drugs? No. Is your partner or spouse on drugs? No, maybe, not sure.
Are you still battling denial over your partner’s drug abuse? It’s been a smooth and happy five years for both of you, but just around five months ago, you started noticing weird behaviors and fluctuating moods from your partner you can’t quite understand.
After finding out about the addiction when you saw a hidden stash of cocaine in your room, numerous negativities start to harass your thoughts, and fear of serious relationship troubles that might tear you both apart is painfully pressing on you. You can’t stop feeling guilty for being too busy to not notice and help him when he started.
After series of confrontations, personal struggles and reconciliations, your partner finally decided to submit himself to recovery. You started putting more sense and meaning to your conversations as you both expressed each other’s sentiments more appropriately. You can see his struggle as he tried to relate to you the pressures he encountered in his job, how he felt alone, what went wrong, and how the addiction started.
With desire to save the relationship, you both started planning the steps you can take to start walking the recovery road. As his long-time partner, you are very much willing to support and be with him along the journey towards cleansing and freeing himself from drugs.
Love is strong, but not strong enough
Aside from love alone, it takes a whole lot more to make a relationship with a normal person last. It takes probably three times as much of everything required plus a few more specials to stay together with a partner, if he or she is a recovering substance abuser. But take hope from the word “recovering.”
For a drug addict, recovery is a long, bumpy path to take. He can go astray, get lost and totally succumb to his cravings. Despite the possible challenges, you should be grateful he is on recovery. He just needs to have proper guidance and undergo the right processes, with your unfailing support, to achieve the ultimate goal.
If you both still have the love, you know ending the relationship is not a solution. It may even worsen things. So stay strong, hang on to your partner’s hand, and be his/her sobriety.
- Patience is a big word. It’s that big, that some people just can’t fit it in their attitude tanks. In your case, though you’re not that patient, you must do your best effort to be for your recovering loved one. Not having the drug to sedate him or keep him active, an addict can experience heavy anxiety and emotional and physical stress that may push him to exhibit unpleasant behaviors. Patience and understanding are highly necessary in these times.
- Positivity is essential in any endeavor. Our thoughts influence our actions and attitudes. Positive thinking then helps us set our actions towards achieving our goal. It’s a strong form of self-motivation. The law of attraction still is an all-time applicable concept especially in this kind of situation where difficult challenges often spring. Think positive and reap positive results.
- Respect and trust increase self-esteem and boost fighting morale in an addict. Even for anyone, the feeling of being respected and trusted has much to do with raising self-worth. Make your partner feel that you respect and value him as a human being and as someone trying to overcome his weaknesses, despite whatever he did wrong. Show appreciation for his desire to modify his ways and acknowledge even his minor accomplishments. Let him feel that you believe in his capacity to combat his urges and achieve better control. In this way, he will be more motivated to work harder.
- Seek professional help. It’s difficult to handle someone under recovery, especially when he undergoes withdrawal symptoms. Unless you have what it takes to manage him or her by yourself, you need assistance from experts in drug rehabilitation. It is best to have him under proper care and therapy where he is put under constant monitoring to lessen the chances of relapse. If he is in the care of a reliable drug rehabilitation centre, he is well prevented from hurting himself and other people and much protected from temptation.
- Set yourself as an example. How? If you were once into having multiple drinking sessions with friends, then totally do away with it. If you were into smoking or into anything unhealthy for you, like not getting enough sleep or eating too much junk food, start adopting healthy habits as a way of showing him you are willing to take lifestyle changes as well. By doing so, you will influence him to do the same healthy practices (e.g., eating healthy, exercising) as a natural way to cleanse and detoxify himself.
- Be available. Let him or her feel your presence. Your partner will understand if you can’t be with him all the time because you need to work, but make sure you really have time for him every single day. Even if he’s under the care of a trusted rehabilitation center, he will feel valued being visited by someone close, in the midst of strangers. In this manner, you will also have the opportunity to observe his progress, bond with each other, talk with his health care providers, and be more aware of his overall condition.
- Be well oriented with the process. Organizations providing therapy and rehabilitation from substance abuse have different programs for different individuals. Programs can range from intensive drug therapies and comprehensive depression counseling to simpler behavioral therapies. Since people have different needs, they can’t all have the same kind of therapy. You need to know the processes he will be undergoing by talking to his physician or therapist and asking advice on what you can best do in your part. This will help you anticipate and provide for his needs well.
- Establish a strong support system with family and friends. Remember, you both are not alone. Do not carry it all on your shoulders. Your partner also needs to see that many of the people he considers important are supporting him and are very much hopeful for his recovery. This can motivate him strongly and highly contributes to his and your well-being, strengthening further your relationship.
- License: Creative Commons image source
- License: Creative Commons image source
- License: Image author owned
By Debra Wright
Debra Wright is a creative and innovative blogger and online marketing specialist. She uses her wordsmith skills to share her ideas, thoughts, and tips to other people about topics that fascinate her, such as helping out drug addicts recover. Follow Debra on twitter @debrawrites…