How To Know You’re Spending Too Much Time Online

Written by on June 25, 2013 in Technology - No comments | Print this page

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child-online-piracyDo you spend a lot of time online?

Are friends and family just contacts on your Facebook page?

Has it been days since you’ve eaten anything but deliver pizza?

Are all of your plants dead and your pets are missing?

If so you may be spending too much time online.

Here are some tips to see if you are indeed stuck in cyberspace and need to turn off the PC.

Relationship Signals

  • Your significant other complains that instead of talking in your sleep you make typing motions with your fingers.
  • Your kids are living on cereal.
  • You call out a screen name instead of your partner’s during sex.
  • STD’s are no longer a concern when you have sex – because you only have cybersex.
  • You don’t know what your cyber love partner really looks like.
  • You get insanely jealous when someone hits on your cyber lover in a chat room.
  • When you see an attractive person in the real world your first instinct it so IM them.
  • Instead of asking for a phone number, you ask for their screen name in Yahoo IM.
  • Your boss is constantly reminding you that “I” is capitalized.
  • In the break room when someone tells a joke you say LOL out loud.
  • You try to smile with your head at a 90 degree angle.
  • You lie about your bloodshot eyes from too much computer time and tell your coworkers it was because you were out partying.
  • Tech support calls you for help with  a network problem.
  • You’ve stopped eating lunch so you can check on your online friends.
  • You have a file on your work computer with your screen names and passwords, and this file is password protected.
  • You keep a fake “work” window minimized in case the boss walks by.
  • You end all of your sentences with …
  • You’ve stopped writing complete words and only use abbreviations like ttyl and bbiab.
  • You and your significant other are in the same room, but talking to each other online in an IM.
  • You have cyber friends in every time zone in the world, and you know when they will all be online.
  • You are a level 85 dark elf – in more than one MMORPG.
  • You know what MMORPG means.
  • Being called a newbie is an extreme insult.
  • When someone says excuse me in a conversation you tell them to scroll up.
  • You draw the drapes and dim the lights so the neighbors won’t know you’re online at 3am.
  • If you get up in the middle of the night to pee, check your email, and don’t get off of your computer until daylight.
  • You can type over 70 wpm and as fast as you think.

Signals at Work

You are Really Spending Too Much Time Online If…

If you exhibit any or all of these behaviors you may be spending too much time online. While this list was meant to be humorous, spending too much time online can have a detrimental effect on your life.

Try to limit your online time, and get out there and experience the real world once in a while. The internet will be there when you get back.

Stan Goodlove is an avid fan of the internet, but he does like to find new people using people search and have fun in the real world. He compiled this list to give all of his fellow internet addicts a few laughs. 

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